EMM08: "Everyday Parenting Tips" by Simon Rich
I'm getting older. I have more gray hairs on my head than ever before. I don't know all the new slang. I have dental insurance.
I don't mind it too much, though.
I make better decisions than I used to (most of the time). I understand myself a little better than I used to. And instead of worrying about monsters in my closet, I get to worry about whether my neck pain will ever go away or if I'll get dementia.
Yay!
To tell you the truth — I don't think I worried too much about monsters when I was a kid. But in the piece we're reviewing for this week's episode of Email Marketing Motivation…
Monsters are everywhere.
The piece is a Q&A format that starts normally but then devolves into an apocalypse-type scenario.
The author, Simon Rich, has written for Saturday Night Live, Pixar, and The Simpsons — and his comedy experience is evident in this piece…
Because it’s funny as hell.
And from an email marketing perspective — it's a great example of how to write an "FAQ email" that people actually enjoy reading.
So let's dig in.
The Piece
(After you finish reading, scroll down for the lessons)
Lessons We Can Learn From This Piece
1. Answer people's questions.
As you probably noticed, this entire piece — aside from the intro — is in Q&A format.
No matter what niche you're in, people have questions about your product or industry.
Hell, I was looking at socks on Amazon the other day, and there were plenty of questions on the product page. So if people have questions about socks… then they almost definitely have questions about your product or industry too.
… so answer them!
Just look at some questions you've received from customers or subscribers and answer them in an email to your list.
This is great for readers, because it gives them an "insider's" advice on a topic they're interested in. And it's great for you, because it's easy to write.
2. Start with something relatable.
Check out the beginning of the piece:
"We’ve all been there. The teeth are brushed, the pj’s are on, and the blankie is juuuust right. You’re tiptoeing out of the nursery when suddenly you hear, “Mommy, Mommy, there’s a monster under my bed!” You let out a sigh. Looks like that new episode of The Bachelorette is going to have to wait. :("
Countless parents can relate to this situation. And even if you’re not a parent — you’ve probably seen this situation play out on TV, in a movie, or even in real life with someone you know.
Because of that — it grabs your attention.
This is something to keep in mind when you're writing email copy too. Who is your audience? What are some common situations they find themselves in?
Describing those situations in your copy is a simple way to grab attention and hook a reader.
3. Don't be afraid to be over-the-top.
One of the reasons I love this piece is because of the way it devolves from a normal Q&A piece into total chaos.
But I'm sure there are plenty of people who read it and don't "get it." Or even if they do get it, they don't appreciate it.
The same thing will be true with your emails.
Some people won't get your perspective, your sense of humor, your unique personality quirks.
… and that's okay.
Your goal isn't to reach everyone. Instead, your goal is to find "your people" and speak directly to them. The way you do that is to let your unique personality shine through in your email copy.
Don't be afraid to be over-the-top at times. While you certainly want to remember who your readers are and write emails they find interesting…
You also want to write emails that YOU find interesting, because doing that will help you attract the people who are most likely to resonate with your message and buy your products.
4. Invite readers into your world.
In Rich's piece, he introduces us to things like…
The Great Monster Uprising…
The Dark Place…
The Drain of Ga…
Gorgog the Annihilator…
And Ctharga the Eater of Souls.
He builds a world and brings us into it.
When you tell stories in your emails — you do the same thing. You're not just writing emails…
You're introducing characters and settings. You're giving readers a peek into what your life is really like. You're creating your own little world and inviting readers in.
Remember that.
5. Build to a climax.
Take a look at this section:
"What do you mean?
Maybe, when your child asks if something’s wrong, you should just tell her the truth: “Yes. Something is very wrong. Monsters are real and they are out there everywhere, trying to kill us.”
Won’t that freak her out?
She’s freaked out already. And she should be. The world as we know it is over, and it’s never coming back.
So, what are you saying? What am I supposed to do? Just give up?
You could give up.
Or you could fight.
What are you talking about?
I’m talking about taking those monster bastards down.
Whoa, whoa, whoa—hold on. Isn’t that impossible?
Maybe. But isn’t it worth a shot? Isn’t it better than just sitting there, waiting to die?
I can’t!
You can.
I’m scared!
I know. But you’re stronger than you think. You can do this.
How?
Research the monsters. Learn their weaknesses. Develop a strategy. Stockpile weapons. Train obsessively. Strengthen your body and your mind."
Specifically, notice how this section is different from the section before it. The paragraphs are shorter. The sentences are shorter too. This increases the pace of the copy.
While you may have been reading the piece prior to this…
By the time you get to this section, you're practically barreling through it.
And then, the piece closes with this:
"And then what?
When the moment comes, look your child in the eye. Tell her that the stakes are high, but you’re not giving up. Tell her that you will do anything you can to protect her, and even though it’s possible you’ll fail, you’re going to fight for her with everything you’ve got. Tell her, “If these motherfucking monsters think that they can fuck with my family without me shooting them first in the face, they need to get their heads examined, because I’m going to come at them so fucking hard right now.” Watch the strength return to your child as she sees you’re in no way fucking around. Listen with pride as she vows to fight the monsters by your side. Look out the window and stare down the monsters together. Dare them to fuck with your family. Dare them to fuck with the people that you love. Take your child by the hand. Arm her to the teeth. Tell her you love her. Open the door."
This is the climax of the piece.
And the reason it works is because Rich has built up to it. He's used short sentences and paragraphs to increase the pace and tension of the piece.
Because he’s done that, the reader is “ready” for a longer paragraph that creates a climax to the piece.
You can do the same thing in your emails.
If you’re telling a story in your email and want to build to a climax, deliberately shorten your sentences and paragraphs.
This will make your reader move through the copy more quickly and will increase the tension. That way, when you get to the climax of the story, the reader will be ready for it.
How To Apply These Lessons To Your Email Marketing ASAP
Here's a quick summary of the lessons from this piece:
Answer people's questions
Start with something relatable
Don't be afraid to be over-the-top
Invite readers into your world
Build to a climax
And here's how you can apply them to your email marketing:
Write your own FAQ email.
Think about 1 - 3 questions you either hear often from subscribers… or that you have heard recently from subscribers (either is okay)…
And write an email that answers those questions directly.
As you write the email — add some personality! Have fun with it. Invite readers into your world, and answer the questions in a way that is entertaining to YOU.
Here's What You Should Do Next
Thanks for reading Email Marketing Motivation. Here's what you should do next:
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