this isn't how I planned to start my day
I didn't plan to start my day with death.
But sometimes, life hands you lemons and you have to figure out what the hell you want to do with them.
This morning, I was about to sit down at my desk, when I looked up and saw it:
This miniature monster, making himself comfortable in the room that I pay for.
Photo from Black Diamond Pest Control
Does this guy think I'm running a charity around here?
Because I'm not.
Now I'm not the type of guy who will kill any and every bug that enters my house.
My roommate Cody and I once had a pet fly named Phil. (RIP, Phil)
But I will absolutely, positively, without any sense of hesitation whatsoever...
Absolutely murder a bug that looks as gross as the one above.
So when I saw this beast, I knew I had a choice:
I could ignore him, sit down at my desk to journal, and get on with my day...
Which would give him the opportunity to scuttle out-of-sight while I wasn't looking...
Only to reappear on my face tonight while I'm in the middle of a dream about Taylor Swift.
OR...
I could end his life and eliminate the risk of that he would ruin the future Taylor and I have together.
I (obviously) chose option #2.
I grabbed a red Chuck Taylor low-top -- a shoe with a very sturdy sole, perfect for bug exterminations -- and walked up to face the monster.
My ceilings are about 9 feet tall, and this guy was near the top of the wall. So I'd have to make a pretty athletic jump and smack the shit of him with the shoe to get the job done.
I practiced my take-off, going through the exact movements I would make...
And then, with athleticism that, to date, has only been matched by Olympic-level high-jumpers...
I leapt into the air and smacked the Chuck Taylor down onto the beast.
When I returned to the ground, he had transformed from a monster to a splat.
And now, instead of having a bug in my room...
I had bug guts and a shoeprint on my wall.
Honestly, not a bad trade.
This whole thing reminds me of an idea I learned from Mark Manson's book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck:
You will never run out of problems in life. The only thing you can do is get better problems.
And in my opinion...
A shoeprint on the wall is a much better problem than a bug ruining my imaginary future with Taylor Swift.
P.S. Want to know something cool about this story?
It follows what I call "The EVT Framework."
Basically, The EVT Framework is an 8-step framework you can use to turn everyday events from your life into stories...
Just like I did while writing this one.
Here's what's even cooler:
In my course, Stories That Sell...
I give you the entire EVT Framework and break down an email that follows it, so you can see how it works.
So if that's something you're interested in…